Today I had a student that was having a really tough day and was acting out. I took him out in the hall to just see what was going on with him. I knelt down on one knee so I could see him at eye level and just chat with him for a second. To my HUGE surprise, he sat on the knee that was up, put his head on my shoulder and burst into tears.
Oh my heart just melted for this little one. It really humbled me. Yes, he was acting out, but he was obviously having a bad day. Although some days my job pushes me to the edge, I am very grateful for this moment to bring me back to know that I love these kiddos that I teach and that the classroom is a home away from home for them. I keep thinking how I would want my own kiddos treated by their teachers (which they totally are) and know that I owe that to the ones in my class.
This little boy is by far one of the hardest trouble makers in my class. That actually says a lot because this year is a really tough crowd. He came into my class late in the year and has had a bit of a troubled past. He has a really hard time in class and is constantly knocking over chairs, making disruptive sounds, causing fights and crying in class. Yes, he is a handful and there are days that he is in the principal’s office multiple times a day. There are days that I go home feeling like a total failure because I feel like the day has been wasted on discipline instead of curriculum.
However, for some reason ever time I look into his eyes, I see the eyes of my own son. He reminds me so much of Toad that is hurts. Every time I look at his face I see the ache that he has endured in his short 7+ years of life. I can’t stop but seeing Toad every single time. I think of the things that he has seen in his life. He has no memory of his mother and father living together. We separated before he turned 2. He endured my marrying again and having a very tumultuous second marriage, short second marriage. He has seen me go back to work, be exhausted at the end of the day and dropping the ball in so many ways. Every time I see this student, I think of my cute Toad and my heart melts for this little boy.