The day started off better than usual. I woke up early, cleaned up the house (well, kinda) and went to the grocery store. To boot, I did all of that even before the kids woke up. I took my time nicely waking Kaeson up considering he is a terrible grump in the morning. Just getting him dressed for school takes nearly 45 minutes. We made it to school on time, a first this week. On the way home Kyra and I sang along to the Christmas carols blaring on the radio. Yes, I know it is pathetic but come on, we all do it.
This is where my day started to shift. I got home and put Kelty down for his nap and threw Kyra in the tub. Not five minutes later did she pop out of the tub and informed that she did not need a bath (as dirt was still freshly swirling in the tub) and that she was off to play Barbie. I was about to contest when I heard the screeching of a banshee coming over the baby monitor. I ran in to find that Kelty had exploded over everything in sight. Grabbing him and flying him directly to the nearest tub, I managed to catch a glance into’s Kyra’s room where she had dumped out three 30 gallon Rubbermaid bins of Barbies. Aaagh, thought I, as another daunting task was added to my to do list. With a freshly scrubbed Toad and a little less patience, I decided to forgo the morning nap and went downstairs to clean up after breakfast. I mean, he would have a great long nap later in the day huh! I hate making those types of predictions.
After I got the kitchen to shine for the second time today, I sat down at my sewing machine to finish up some of the final touches on some hats that were to be sent out today. The hum of the machine started and the stitches went a flying and then I looked down. To my horror, I saw that the stitches looked like spider webs. Perfect timing right. So, after calling Harvey, he mentioned that he saw the baby had knocked my machine over last night but the machine looked fine. Well, as long as it looks fine right! What a guy.
At about this time, I looked up and realized that I had to shake a leg in order to get Kaeson from school (20 minute drive each way but worth it.) I decided to drop my machine and $60 off at the shop for repairs on the way. After arriving at school, I remembered that we were bringing home Kaeson’s little friend from school for a play date. Scrambling to get the car dejunked and to find an extra car seat, I managed to spill my coke all over the seat. So, not only do I have to have my upholstery cleaned, I also looked like I had just wet my pants as I went to get my son and his friend.
After returning home, lunch happened without incident (miracle of miracles). I then snuggled up Kelty and placed him off to dreamland with his Fischer Price Wonderland Player thingy. I plopped Kyra, Kaes and his friend in front of the TV with blankets, popcorn and hot chocolate for a movie afternoon. Barbie and the Diamond Castle was the unanimous choice for the show of the day. I then saw that Kyra had placed her hot chocolate inside of a little wagon. After several requests for her to move her hot chocolate and after several times disobeying that request, she kicked over her wagon and spilled her beverage all over my 1 week old rug.
Having lost my patience I sent her up to bed. Not to her room, mind you, to bed. Pajamas and all. She contested every second and threw what was the first of many great tantrums today. As I turned to go back down the stairs, I heard the same shrill sounds coming from Kelty’s room. Although hesitant, I went to check. Wouldn’t you know. He was up for a second showing of the first nap attempt so, back in the tub he went.
After a much quicker bath, but still freshly scrubbed Toad, I headed back down the stairs, all the while trying to ignore Kyra screaming that she didn’t want to go to bed. When I reached the family room, I found Kaes and his friend huddled behind the couch in fear. Apparantly, for all of you with children, Barbie and the Diamond Castle, has a very realistic and consequently terrifying dragon. Using my quick scheming, I sent the boys outside for some fun run around time.
I sat down to feed Toad a snack that he wanted nothing to do with, I saw a flash of naked run past the kitchen table. Having to do a quick double take, I saw Kaeson wearing only his skivies, racing up the stairs. My only conclusion at this point is that he missed the memo that if you get wet while playing in the snow, you come inside before you take off all of your clothes to change into something warmer.
So, I take all of the kids upstairs to get them doing some quiet block building when I heard footsteps in the basement. I quickly did a head count and realized that everyone in the house was accounted for and in Kaeson’s bedroom. Grabbing the closest thing I could find, a styrofoam bat, I started downstairs. I then ran face to face into…..our contractor. It scared me to death. We are having our basement refinished and although I was thrilled to see someone actually DOING something at our house I didn’t know anyone was IN our house. All was good though, they were just delivering materials through the basement windows.
Just about this time, Kaesey’s little friend went home and it was just me and my kids (ominous organ music and evil laughter.) This is where the day starts to get a little hazy. I got out a series of coloring books for the kids and gave Kelty a pretzle. I turned around and grabbed some buttered bread (my first food of the day) and opened a magazine. “OOOOh mom!” I heard come from the mouth of babes. I turned to see Kelty, a diaper several feet away and quite the trail in between. After a quick clean up of the floor, it was upstairs for bathtub round 3. Are you beginning to see Deja Vu here? With a barely scrubbed Toad, I hurried back down the stairs to find the fridge open, milk all over the floor, jelly everywhere and Kaeson no where to be found. After several long minutes of calling his name, I saw the cabinet door flutter. I opened it to see a once again half naked boy, covered in jelly and his now emptied trick or treat bag in his lap.
After pulling him kicking and screaming out from underneath the cabinet, I cleaned up the milk and the jam and yes, the Kaeson. After helping Kaeson regain control, I cleaned off the table and once again set out the coloring books. The kids actually obliged this request for reasons which I still don’t completely undestand. Kelty started munching on some overly sugared cereal and life was momentarily calm. Too calm.
The doorbell rang. It was Kyra’s cute friend showing up for craft day. I knew that she was coming but in the chaos of baths and jelly, it had slipped my now ooey gooey brain. Thank heavens they decided to go upstairs and play for a while. That gave me time to think. We decided the craft for the day was going to be tissue paper hats. Great idea right??? The girls went off without a hitch but when it came to Kaes, he lost it. He wanted a plastic bowl to put on his head and I when I refused, into WWIII we went.
Once again, I regained the only shred of control that I had, which in retrospect was probably only an illusion and set out the play dough for the kiddos. All of the kids really took to this activity. Even Toad, whose only real goal was to eat as much as he could before I fished it all out of his mouth.
The phone rang, it was Kyra’s friend’s mom. Coincidentally, one of my very best friends. I took the opportunity to vent a minute. I started walking around the dining room and talking when I looked up the flight of stairs. There, I saw Kaeson (uh oh), with his bunk bed ladder (uuuuh ooooh), leaned up agains the bathroom door (OOH NO), undoing the hook and eye latch at the top of the door (OH CRAP!) I dropped the phone and took the stairs three at a time but I was too late. The latch came up, the door flew open, the ladder crashed straight down and Kaeson held on the entire time. He then bounced off, the a ladder bounced and landed on top of Kaeson, who was at this point, the source of the screaming.
Quickly checking for broken bones and scratches and finding none, I scooped him up and tried to hold him. He wanted none of that. Running straight for the first aid kit, Kaeson missed the first step on the short flight up to my room and he “superman”ed himself across the landing. Yes, the screams that followed, I am sure that that sound was recorded on the seismonitor. After calming him down to a level of inteligible speach, we slowly decended back to the kitchen.
About to my wits end, I looked back at Toad and saw that familiar look that I had seen several times earlier. Why bother! I wiped him off and hosed him down in the sink. I slapped an oversized T-shirt on him and called it good.
Having had it, I called Harvey. Told him to drop everything. I didn’t care what he was doing. If he wasn’t home in 30 minutes he would return to a dismal scene. Not knowing what else to do, I threw all the kids in the car for a ride. Deciding not to make dinner, I stopped off at McD’s to buy everyone dinner. Start up of meltdown number…who the heck knows, because Kaeson was unhappy with his drink choice. However, I will forever confess that it was the best $22 that I have ever spent. So, the ending to my little story is this. Everyone survived. No one got immunity. I have taken 8 1/2 months off my life. Kyra is still ticked that she spent the day in bed. Kaeson has more bumps than I can count. Kelty has a massive diaper rash. And, me, I left the mintue Harvey came home, with Leigh and bought myself a great designer knock off purse. Just Because.
All in all, it has been one amazing disaster of a day. However, I will find the good in it. I am very glad, no matter how much it drives me nuts at times, to be a stay at home mom. I love my children very much and want the best for them. I made sure that I told them all that before they went to sleep tonight. Kaeson threw his arms around me and told me that I was the best mom ever. I only pray that I can handle tomorrow better.