Back in the time when sailing was the main way of long distance transportation, sailors would make repeated claims of mermaid sighting. They would see them from off their boat, and very often, men would jump ship to swim to them. However, it has also been reported that these sightings were not actually mermaids, but rather manatees. Here is the thing, men want mermaids, not manatees. That has always been the case.
Every girl wants to grow up to be a mermaid at some point in her life. I mean seriously, swimming all day, gorgeous flowing hair, brightly colored tail, beautiful face and not to mention, what girl doesn’t want to sport a clam shell bra! I know it seems far fetched, but some girls really do grow up to be mermaids. The rest of us… we grow up to be Manatees. And as it turns out (and Disney’s “The Little Mermaid only made if more concrete,” men want mermaids, and not manatees.
So, along my long winding road of singlehood, I have discovered there a few types of men that tend to sail their ship my direction in the whole huge ocean of fish out there.
- The main type of man sees me, as a mermaid, out in the distance and jump ship and start a swimming my direction. However, somewhere along the way, they even though they realize that is really is a mermaid, see that there is a much prettier mermaid a little ways off, and abruptly divert their attention to her.
- Next is the type that jumps ship and soon discovers the mermaid is really just a manatee and abandons their quest.
- The third type also jumps ship and swim up, and although it is a manatee, they are so insanely crazy from being out in the sun for years on end, that they are delusional and think that the manatee really is a mermaid and never wants to leave.
- The last, is the kind that actually never jumps ship, as he would rather stay on the boat and party with the boys, and has no interest in mermaids.
Along the journey, I have experienced all of them.
Some men have feigned interested in me and enjoy spending time with me. Then they put me in their back pocket while they go explore the other options that are swimming about, holding me in reserve as a back up girl. They know what they want, they just don’t want it now.
Some men have made a crazy effort of getting to know me, and then we finally go out and hit it off. Then, the strangest thing happens. They disappear. Completely. All of a sudden the texts stop, the messages stop and I never hear from them again. Dang! The figured out I was a manatee.
Then, I have the ones that stick around. Oh my goodness. They go WAY over the top and become obsessed. They hold me to incredibly ridiculous standards and put heavy expectations on me. They stick around, and want to be there, but want to control everything and it becomes scary.
The last kind…. well yeah, they just prefer hanging with the guys. To be honest, if that is where they are wanting to be, I prefer that they stay there!
So, that leaves me in the water floating around desperately trying to fit into a clam bra and dreaming of someday that one person that is actually seeking a Manatee! A cute, sweet, gentle and loving manatee!