I have been struggling with how to change the tone of my blog. For the past several years I have avoided my blog. The feelings that I was experiencing were not ones that I wanted to put out into the void. Even with that resolution, there were times that my feelings got to be too much and I had to vent.
I found this today and it made sense. I have had people in my life that have changed. I have had to deal with the results of their agency. I am grateful for those moments as I know now that I am able to love. I know that I am able to stand up for myself and only accept what is good for me. Although no one wants to end up single in the middle of their life, I am so blessed to have gained the strength to realize what I deserve out of any relationship, and what I have the ability to give.
I am grateful for things that have gone wrong in my life. Oddly enough, I am very grateful for this. I am the person that I am because of what I have gone through. I am so very far from perfect, but I am ok with who I am. Because of my experiences, I am a strong and independent woman. I can take care of me and my little family. I am at peace.
I have believed the lies. I am glad that I did. I now know the difference between the truth and a lie. I have developed a strong sense of deductive reasoning. I am able to figure out the truth, in others and in myself. Who knew that you didn’t always tell yourself the truth. Just me… ok. As for trust… I am working on it. I am so very blessed to have had a few elect souls placed into my path that have made a safe environment for me to be able to open up. A lifelong dream of mine is to be able to find someone to fall into. I am hopeful that my heart will open up to that.
Good things do fall apart. Bad things fall apart. I am in a continual learning spiral of letting go of the wheel at times and leaving it to a higher power. When I finally stop trying to take control of my life and direct it in the manner that I want, I find that my life goes the way that it is intended.