I often times look back at my life and see things that I have taken for granted. It is amazing how that happens with all of us. Today, I had another one of those moments. I got to hold my son’s hand.

When Kaeson was 22 months old, I started to notice little differences in him: Quirks, idiosyncrasies, unique characteristics. These little bug a boos have grown into annoyances to full on disruptive and destructive behaviors.

I have tried to keep him maintained on a schedule and I use a pretty strong behavior structure with him. By the end of the day (7:00) I am completely exhausted and can barely move. However, from the outside, it looks like I let my son run wild with no thought towards maintaining control. I have been chastised by strangers in the supermarket and even criticized about my parenting skills by a couple of extended family members and even acquaintances. I can honestly say that Kaeson has one of those personalities that at times, only a mother can love.

On the bright side, I do have some amazingly wonderful friends and family that have stood by my side and supported me as I have been working through issues and getting to the bottom of what is inside of Kaeson’s head. To you, my friends, I send you my deepest and most heart felt thanks.

In order to help this little kiddo, I have tried specialized diets, medicines, allergy treatments and play therapies. I have bought books and toys and have even researched effective computer games. Some have helped. Some have not.

Over this past week, in my efforts to curb his destructive tendencies around the house, I removed everything but his beds from his room. I know that this sounds harsh but, he needed an environment that would allow him to rest and relax without over stimulating him.

That brings us to yesterday. I woke up early to find that Kaeson had beat my alarm clock and had climbed up onto the counter to reach and eat an entire bag of Hershey’s Kisses. Later in the day, he stripped his beds of all the bedding, mattresses and had broken off one of his blinds to hit things that were up on the shelves that are 8 feet from the floor.

I hit a new low. What else could I do? I called our regular pediatrician and she is out of the office until January due to complications with her pregnancy. I called her partner that is working with Kaeson as well and he is out of the office for two weeks. I about cried.

Last evening at 8:00, the doctor covering for our normal pediatrician called and told me that she had read the notes from the message that I left for my pediatrician’s nurse. She mentioned that there was probably nothing that she could do but, didn’t want to leave me hanging. After hearing my obvious discouragement and desperation, she must have felt sorry for me and told me that she would prescribe a medication to help Kaeson calm down and focus. What a breath of fresh air.

I ran this morning to pick up the prescription from the doctor’s office and to the pharmacy to have it filled. I raced soon there after to the school to give him his first dose. I then sat back and waited for it to kick and for him to come home.

I am not a huge an of medication but, if it is needed, it is needed. For Kaeson, this was needed. He came home calm, tranquil and mellow. He was still Kaeson. He still had his cute vivacious personality. He still maintained his opinions about life and lunch. However, his whole demeanor was softer and pleasant.

I took him to the store with me to pick up a few needed items. Generally, when we go out, I hold his wrist in my hand to keep him at my side and to prevent him from running away and causing chaos. He quickly wriggled his wrist out of my hand, which is very normal. Before I could react, he switched his grip and reached for my hand. He didn’t run away. He didn’t grab every item off the shelf. He simply held my hand and talked to me was we walked through the store.

I had to hold back my tears a bit. I honestly can not remember the time I was able to just hold his hand. It was tiny and soft and I couldn’t believe how really young he is. I have missed that a lot in my desperate search to help him succeed in his little life. I think that today will be one of those days that I look back at for the rest of my life. Nothing fancy. Nothing extraordinary. Just the day that I was able to hold my son’s hand.

Now, who knows how well this new medicine will work but, I am going to suck every single precious second that I have with him. It won’t be long before he is too old and too cool to hold his mothers hand. I just pray, that I can take advantage of as much of this time as I can. Thank you Kaeson for today!