I went to Time Out for Women last week with a friend of mine. She ended up having an extra ticket and invited me to go with her. I have never been before, but have heard quite a bit about it from some of the ladies in my last ward. It has been on my bucket list to attend that meeting and this year, I got my chance.
I was really touched by Sister Dew’s talk. The main part of her presentation was about the role of women in the gospel. She talked about the divinity of womanhood, motherhood and how we all relate to the priesthood. I was very intrigued by her talk. It touched my soul a little harder than normal this time around as she talked about the importance of being together in this life. She quoted the passage that Man (and Woman for that matter) was not meant to be alone. She waited for the chuckles to subside before she emphasized that it was a serious comment and that we are only whole when we are with a partner.
For the past three years I have been single and I can tell you that it was a mix of blessing and curse. I was no longer with someone who treated me poorly and made me feel subhuman. I was able to make my own decisions, go the places that I wanted to go and make a budget that worked for me and the children. I feel free. I was financially crippled and had to find some extremely creative ways to take care of a lot of the necessities of life, but we survived. I was at peace and I was happy, but I was not complete.
Now, I knew that I wasn’t going to be alone for long. I know this sounds predatory or arrogant, but I had been given several witnesses and blessings saying that the man that I was to be with was in a sense, just around the corner. I spent a little time in the dating world figuring out what I wanted and what I needed, but I knew where my heart was leading me to and I was sure that eventually I was going to be made whole.
I married the most amazing man that I have ever known 2 1/2 months ago. Now, eyebrows have been raised as to the quick nature of this union. However, it was right. It had been right for a very long time. As soon as we knew, we picked up running.
I will not lie and say that now that I am married again that life is peaches and cream with vanilla topping. We do have difficulties and we do have stressful moments. We are in an adjustment period where we are still trying to learn about each other, mesh family and parenting styles and find out exactly how we work together. It is hard when both people come from rough marriages and try to make a perfect union once again, but have the dark shadowy pasts of the dysfunctional relationships in our paths. However at the end of the day, I know that I am loved beyond measure and that I have finally found someone that I want to dedicate my life to.
I am grateful that I have finally been made whole and that I have a partner in life who is willing to go to battle not just for me, but with me. I am grateful that in this life sometimes things don’t turn out exactly the way that you had planned them. Sometimes they turn out better.