I have resisted taking this blog private. I am an open person when it comes to my life. I like to put it out there and express my feelings and thoughts. I find it to be very soothing to my soul. It is my therapy. Writing in my blog helps me think through things and work things out in my head. I find so often that I have blog posts swirling around in my head and it has been hard for me to not have a safe landing place for them.
For the last couple of years, especially the one, my blog has fallen under great scrutiny and criticism by a few people that were very close to me. I was chastised for the things that I had written and the act that my ideas didn’t mesh with theirs. I felt that I was held hostage. I so badly wanted to express my soul, but knew that what I wanted to write would be met with chastisement.
I finally started blogging again, an even the most simple and benign posts became points of contention. I found that the feelings that I had expressed on my blog were twisted and retold to me in a hurtful manner.
I have heavily debated what to do with the blog. I do not know what the future holds. I do not know if I am going to keep this private forever or if I am going to switch to a new blog all together. I know that it is a pain to log into a blog to read it. I have to tell you though, that your effort in logging on and reading my blog means the world to me. I never wanted to take it private because I didn’t want to exclude anyone since I had nothing to hide and I wanted to get my feelings out and hope that they touched someone.
I appreciate your patience as I sift through this mess and figure out the best way to be me and express myself. Hopefully the irritation of logging into a private blog will be compensated by the content within. If not…Thanks for dealing with it anyway!
I am now single again. It has been an extremely rough journey. It has also served to be a very enlightening and instructional time in my life. It is my story told from my point of view. They are my feelings, my experiences and my point of views. I do not want to be disparaging. Fairy tales are not always perfect, but they most often have a moral that we can learn from them. I am trying to glean the moral from my story. I take responsibility for my faults and actions. Perfection is not a quality that I claim to possess, but I can say without doubt, that I have done everything in my power to do the right thing.