The day that I had been dreading all summer long, finally came. It was the day that Kyra started first grade. Kyra and I have been very close from the day that she was born. She is my only daughter and my only tie to girly things in this testosterone filled home.
Until now, she has only gone to school part time with only being gone partial days and weeks. On her off times, we have so much fun. We do crafts, paint our nails, go on adventures and shop. I have loved having that little munchkin by my side and having a partner. She has kept balance in the home.
I would get the countdown to school starting from friends and neighbors. They couldn’t wait to get their little ones off to school. I was so much more solemn and somber and was lamenting the time that I had to hand her over for 7 hours a day. I couldn’t even fathom her being gone that long.
I was heart sick at the thought that my little girl was going to spend the majority of her time with someone else instead of with me. I would get those few hours after school but it would never be the same. Have I prepared her enough? Is she strong enough to stand up for herself and be who she knows that she is? Is she ready for what the world has to offer and can she be strong against what is out there.
I know that it is a natural part of life and that we have ALL gone through this. I just never realized how hard this part of parenting was. They never tell you when you take that little bundle of fun home from the hospital that someday you are going to have to share them with the world. I certainly wasn’t ready to do it.
She was so excited to start. She had her bag packed, her lunch in tow and was donned in her very favorite outfit. We drove her to the school and watched her line up. I tried to steal every hug and kiss that she would allow. She then very deliberately headed into school without looking back. As she turned to walk into the school, it hit me. I put on the sunglasses and let the tears fall. They fell for the majority of the morning.
I am so proud of who she is becoming and that she has retained that genuinely sweet spirit that she graced this earth with. I am grateful that she is still a princess at heart and has a soul that is unmatchably precious. I am so glad that she has chosen me to be her mom. I only pray that I can be the mom that she deserves.
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We will have to do all of those things with the girls during their off track time.
Wow, I’ve been there before! I cried the morning of my daughter’s first day of school. She wanted to be brave and walk to school with her friend…I followed a long way away so that she couldn’t see me. Now, that same girl is a sophomore and again I cried last week when she left for her first day! She is my only child, and what a wonderful sidekick of mine. I’m faced with being an “Empty Nester” in three years. I’m not ready for that in any way, but it’s staring me right in the face. Those same questions that we are faced with the first day of first grade are coming up again. Did I prepare her for this experience? Can she do it alone? Can she be strong enough for this sometimes mean world? Yeah, I know how you feel…I’m there too!