I am not a glamor girl. Oh, there are some days that I try very hard to be one. I think that if I were to have an alter ego, she would be a fabulously sophisticated goddess with piercing blue eyes, a figure to knock your socks off and a mysteriously sharp wit that would entrance all in my path. Oh, and I would have a whole closet of gorgeous shoes. Yes, I have to have my shoes. Alas, I am really just a thrity something mother of three donning a myriad of wrinkles and the daily pony tail. That is ok…. most days.
In real life this is how you will catch me most days. Most days I will be wearing ill fitting jean capris that I have rolled up to look like shorts (this is of course to mimic the trendy long fitted shorts that are all so the rage right now. Funny how the looks I get when wearing them are not the same looks that the women of the elite class get when they peruse the mall in their long shorts. Hmmmm,) the t-shirt that I have been wearing for the past 2 days if it only has crumb stains on the front, flip flops (I have decided that I don’t do as well in my heels as I would like) and a pony tail.
IF and I say IF I get out, I try to doll it up just a tad, but only if I am going to run into someone that I might know. That plan of attack has not been my most successful set up. Is it not completely ironic that the days that I chose to go public with my drabness are the days that I run into that old boyfriend at the supermarket or the pristinely polished college roommate who now drives a Mercedes at the gas station. It happens to me every time. I don’t know why I just haven’t learned my lesson.
As a matter of supreme shock I have now learned my lesson, and not in the good way. For the past several days, I have been feeling under the weather. Not so much as to warrant a trip to the ER but enough to feel sluggish and sore. My throat has been hurting and my ear, my GOOD ear, has been aching. On Friday, the ear pain hit a new level of intensity and I was afraid that it was heading down the pathway to strep. As soon as I got the older kiddos off to school, I headed directly to the instacare behind my home.
I had my typical morning with the Bear that consisted of an hour and a half of trying to get that kid dressed, combed and fed so my personal appearance was severely lacking taste, quality and dignity. I did not care seeing that I was sure that I would not be running into anyone that I knew. When I entered the establishment, I did a quick scan and nope, I was a complete stranger to all. Sighing a big sigh of relief, I walked up to the counter and asked what the wait time would be. I assumed she knew that I was asking the wait time to see a doctor. Obviously that is what I meant right! I mean my goodness, I was in a doctor office.
She however, looked up from her paperwork and looked at me and without missing a second she said in a hushed tone, “Oh, are you here for a drug test?” Ummmm NO!!!!!!!!
Needless to say (in a deep southern accent) I have been cured! Demons of fashion BE GONE! I have since tucked away my comfy capris. I have added the t-shirt to the laundry pile and the flip flops are history. Now I just need to get up at the crack of dawn to pretty my little self up so that the people at the grocery store don’t look at me funny when I buy Sudafed.
Oh, and to add insult to injury, the doctor said that I was just fine and that I must be imagining my ear pain. Yep, I am sure that is what it is. Thanks for that. Be sure to send me the bill for that diagnosis.