I have a friend (love you Jules) who every time I get really down on myself has me say 5 things I really like about myself. I HATE doing it, but I think it is cute that she tries to make be positive. I keep thinking that it is arrogant to say things you like about yourself, but you know what- it is good to have things that we like about us. We all have them, and it is good to do some self realizations.
I was getting down on myself the other day over my eye color. It is something I have NO control over whatsoever. My siblings all have ice blue or turquoise eyes. I have dark gray/ blue/ green eyes. They remind me loosely of an abalone shell, where they are very non-descript from any sort of distance, but when you are up close, they have a lot of colors in them. I used to love my eye color and the rich mix of deep colors that were in them. I never knew what color to call them. I loved that they seemed to change colors depending on what I was wearing. I liked that you had to be up close to tell exactly what color they were. I liked that they were bright turquoise when my eyes were red and I was crying. Oh, but I hated crying. Still do, but I still love my eye color when I do.
However, over the last year or so, I have gotten more and more into makeup and becoming a little bit more pro at it. One thing that they talk about is making your eyes POP. That is one thing that I don’t think I have been able to do with my eyes. They are not a bright color that attract attention. They are a deep brown that are sultry. They are just kind of bland. I can’t get them to POP. So, I found myself going from loving something about myself to trying to find any way to change it.
A few weeks ago, I went on my Friday night routine of wandering Ulta and chatting it up with the salespeople there. Oh, we are great friends now. They know my name, and way more than a cosmetics store should know about any one customer. They tease me that I am their regular Friday night date. While I was there, I was complaining to one of my guys there that I couldn’t find a way to get my dull, bland eyes to POP. He looked at me and his sassy sweet voice said, “Girl, you’ve got gorgeous eyes. You’ve gotta give yourself props for having it going on.” Yep… I love my Ulta peeps.
That snapped something inside of my brain. I was great with my eye color until I was wasn’t able to get the results that I saw others getting when they tried certain techniques. I saw myself comparing myself against and impossible standard of non likes. I can’t compare my eye color to a color enhanced, photoshopped, green eyed twenty year old on Pinterest. I will always fail, but I can work harder on finding ways to make my eyes look closer to what I like.
I all too often look at what is wrong with me rather than what I have that is good. I spend so much time recognizing my faults and flaws, which are numerous and abundant, that I have a hard time recognizing what I do well or what traits I have that I actually do like. So, please don’t take this as a brag post, as I actually am very hesitant to write it, rather if you could interpret it in the form of uplifting to the soul. That being said, this is my daily 5 that I like about me today. 🙂
- This one won’t count because I already mentioned it, but I wanted to add it in for myself.I love my eye color. I love the deep rich blues, greens and golds. I love that it reminds me of an abalone shell and that you have to be close up to me to see what color they really are. I love that they are versatile and that I can play with colors and wear all sorts of makeup colors that work with them.
- I have cute handwriting. I had great handwriting when I was younger. Then, when I was 16, I hit my younger brother and broke my hand; my right hand. It was in a cast for two months and never healed correctly. To this day, my hand has a bump and gets sore easily. It took me a while to learn to write without having it hurt. However, I love to write and I love penmanship. I get complimented on my handwriting a lot and told that it looks like a font. I enjoy practicing different writing fonts and hand lettering. It is a fun hobby.
- I am a good seamstress. I learned how to sew about the time that Kyra was born and it has stuck with me. I really enjoy refashioning clothes and making them into something new and different. I enjoy figuring out and drawing patterns. I love the idea of being able to create something fun that didn’t exist before.
- I have a talent for makeup. This is relatively new for me, as I didn’t start wearing makeup until a couple of years ago. I finally broke down and bought some really good makeup and was hooked. I stay up at night and watch youtube videos and other tutorials to learn new and trendy tips. I LOVE doing makeup on other people and do it as a small side job right now to earn a little bit of fun money. I so enjoy that people leave feeling amazing about themselves and feel beautiful. It is relaxing.
- I like my writing style. It might not be for everyone, but I enjoy it. I started having a fascination with words when I was quite young and I have managed to maintain that level of infatuation. I remember the tips and rules from my writing classes and apply them. It is probably the most therapeutic thing I do.
- You know what…. I actually really my hair. I love being a blonde, even though now it requires a professional’s help. I like that it is thick and easily takes a style. I works for me. It was my identifying characteristic growing up and during my earlier years. I was called Barbie in high school after my hair. No, it isn’t nearly as poofy now as it was then, Thank Heavens. It is still one of my favorite features.
Thank you for indulging me in a moment of uplift. I have learned that I can’t compare, at all. I can’t even compare me to me, as I am a different person now that I have been before, and different than the person that I will eventually become. Sometimes just stripping away everything else, and appreciating and loving parts of ourselves for who we are, right now, in this moment, without reservation, is the best thing that we can do for our soul. Although others can help to lift us in times of trial and disappointments, it is really up to us to bring us to a state of inner peace and joy. That is where we find true love.