In 7 1/2 hours I am starting a new journey in life. I am changing the direction of my life and family. Kaeson, Kelton and I are all starting at a new school, new grades and a new job. Kyra starts High school Wednesday.
I have spent the summer getting ready for this job. I have been excited and looking forward to this year. I have been studying and looking up curriculum. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting ready for the school year.
Now I am sitting here the night before school starts with a huge pit in my stomach. I am scared to death and worried that I am not going to make it. I am nervous and sick and anxiety ridden. I know that I am a good teacher and that I have the skills to do it. I think the OCD part of me wants to do it perfectly, but that is impossible as a first timer. I will make mistakes and I will need to switch things around. I know that I do not know it all, but I want to do such a good job.
As a parent, I am going crazy hoping that this year will be better than last year. Last year I was never home, going to school and had my kids on all sorts of different schedules. The kids didn’t do very well in school. I wasn’t home to help with discipline and order. My kids were kind of on their own. This year I want to be a better mother, teacher, person. I feel that so much is riding on tomorrow that I simply can’t get myself to calm down.
Wish me luck!