I had no idea that I could love a human being so much until that day that this amazing soul entered my life. She was born premature, blue, not breathing, no heartbeat and had to have a team revive her. I didn’t get to actually see her beyond my initial momentary glimpse of her for several days, as we were both too sick to be moved. I remember the day after she was born, I was shown a Polaroid of what she looked like in the NICU and my heart ached to hold her and protect her. Little did I know that the angel that I was trying to protect would be my saving grace throughout this life.
She was born in 2002, which was an epic year for us; not quite q year after 911, the year of the Olympics, in fact she was born on the day that I was supposed to be graduating with my Masters Degree. I found it fitting that she was born in 2002 and graduating in 2020. Very unique, just like she is.
She has faced more in life than a young woman of her age should. 6 schools in 6 years, 4 moves, I divorced twice and broke off an engagement, physical ailments, losing a best friend to suicide, bullying, the works. She has been a rock! Strong as steel! Happy, energetic, dynamic, positive, creative, loving and the most caring and empathetic person that Ive ever known.
This last fall, she was accepted to her first choice in colleges, and into her preferred and coveted major. She has been beaming ever since with a newfound passion for academics, determination and love of school.
Today, I had to sit down with her and tell her that school was not going to continue as planned, and that she would finish the year online. All of the fun activities that had been promised have now disappeared. The iconic last few months of arguably the best year ever in life, has dissolved. Her very highly anticipated moment of wearing that cap and gown, walking across that stage, and being handed that diploma, that she has worked at least twice as hard as other students to earn, vanished.
She sat stoic for a moment and was I her own world. She then looked at me and said, “Mom, I’ve done all I can to be the best I can. I’ve been through hard things and I’ll go through harder things. I disappointed that I’m missing a once in a lifetime experience, but I know there are greater things that will come up in my life. I’m so glad I have my family right now and that we love each other and you have the chance to be home with us like you used to when we were little. It’s ok. I will be ok. Its just a hat, and a gown, and a walk. I know I worked for it, you know I worked for it, that’s all that matters.
She then collapsed on my shoulder and cried for the better part of the next hour. She wasn’t sad. She was overwhelmed. She has had her graduation invitation on the fridge for the last month as a sign of her faith that it would be ok.
My heart breaks for these sweet seniors that have worked so hard for this moment that has been built up in such grandeur since they were small. I’m devastated that my child is going through this. I would do anything to take this from her.
Having said that, she is and will always be, the strongest person I’ve ever known. I love her more than words will ever be able to express. May this only make her stronger, more determined, more loving, caring, empathetic and amazing. May this be a moment that she can look back on and KNOW that it made her a better person.
I love you Kyra, to the moon and back a million times. I will forever thank God that he entrusted you to me. I will forever try to live up to what you deserve. You’re a perfect soul and I love you exponentially more every day!